Resting B*tch Face

Let me live!

All my life someone somewhere would tell me to “smile” or “you seem angry.”

I spent years trying to correct my face. To be liked. To come across nice. To look approachable.

That was a complete waste of my time. If I want to have a resting b*tch face that’s my business.

We need to STOP telling women how to be. 

We don’t have to smile to make you feel comfortable. 

We don’t have to wear makeup to be beautiful.

We don’t have to have children or marriage to be valuable. That rich auntie and/or single vibe is good enough. 

We can be sassy and bossy. We getting the job done, correct?

Sis, am I missing anything?

Bottom line stop telling us what to do. Go tell your Mama what to do. 

**Yea, I didn’t think so. Yo mama ain’t playing that. And me neither.**

**This applies to women too. Stop being hard on your sisters!**

Janine

Get Uncomfortable Part 1

Boundaries Plaza

Sister, welcome to Boundaries Plaza! How are yoooou? It has been a long time coming. Writing this post has been difficult and so real. Real because my boundaries have been tested these last week fews… Anywho!

Let’s get into this! Boundaries Plaza is part of the Get Uncomfortable series. The purpose of this series is to become comfortable being uncomfortable and truly learn how to show up for YOUrself!

Growing up, we are groomed to be a certain way. Almost all children are taught to be nice. As a child, if someone hurts your feelings you may have been told, so and so did not mean that. In this situation or others, you may have heard “perspective is everything.” There is truth to that AND all of the above words of encouragement can also teach you to ignore your feelings and boundaries.

And still you must set and enforce your boundaries! Below are a few steps to help you do so:

  • You may feel guilty or anxiety for establishing your boundaries and expecting individuals to respect them. Still speak truth to them. The goal is to ensure you always feel safe and if you don’t, you must remove yourself for that situation. We are not staying anywhere we are not celebrating! PEEEERIOD!
  • What is it that you need in order to feel safe, heard, and free? This is why we set boundaries. Your boundaries may change depending on the relationship and the person you are interacting with.
  • Boundaries can be physical, emotional, sexual, based on values, and whatever else.
  • When speaking to them, you may want to use I statements. You are more likely to be heard and the person listening is less likely to be defensive. This is dependent on your goal. I go back and forth about I states. Check out this teeny tiny paragraph about the power of I statements.
  • When discussing your feelings/boundaries keep it brief. Check this post out for more information. Again, it is teeny tiny. People do not have the capacity to hear much. IJS! And the goal is to be heard so share three points or less regarding your feelings and needs.
  • THEIR REACTION IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS OR RESPONSIBILITY! Do not own it! Let them sit with their feelings. Say your peace and move on!

Have you had any experiences with setting and enforcing your boundaries? If so, how was your experience? Do you have anything to add to the list?

Be FREE!

Janine

Peace

Keep It Zen!

Hello hello!

While drinking my coffee, I selected the peace cup. I am currently feeling stressed. This week is midterms and the thought of it is doing a number on me. Normally, I am not too stressed about this type of thing. However, I am recovering from a traumatic brain injury. In November of last year, I was rear ended and experienced a concussion. Sooo, my brain isn’t as with it.

This cup is a reminder to take deep breaths, relax my shoulders, and remain peaceful. All I can do is my best. Honey, I have to say that again, all I can do is my best!

ALL YOU CAN DO IS YOUR BEST! We spend too many moments stressed about things that are out of our control.

How are you showing up for yourself? How is peace being displayed in your life?

Peace out!

Janine

Get Uncomfortable!!!

For That Glow Up!

Hey Sis! Welcome! I am so excited for the Get Uncomfortable series. This is going to be a goodie! So grab your pen and paper!

The Get Uncomfortable series will give you tools to level up, discover new things about yourself, and encourage you to remain true to you!

In this series, we will discuss:

Our uncomfortableness brings some of the best rewards! You got this, Sis!
  • Boundaries: Let’s talk about the importance of setting, speaking to, and enforcing our boundaries.
  • Saying no: No is healthy! No is important! No needs no explanation! NO is a complete sentence! Period, Poo (I know you rolled your head when you read that. I sure did)!
  • Trying New Things: This allows you to expand your horizons, grow, and discover new passions. I will never forget the time I traveled to Atlanta alone to attend Myleik’s live podcast show. I was stretched in all areas of my life, a little concerned, and overall, I had a phenomenal time!
  • Dating yourself: Have a picnic alone. Get clear on who you are, what you enjoy, and your dislikes.
  • Taking up space: As women we shrink entirely too often. It is time for us to not only show up, but to take up all the space we need.
  • Goodbyes: Some people, things, thoughts, and beliefs need to exit stage left. It is time for some new hellos.

The goal of the series is to become comfortable being uncomfortable. No one grows in their comfort zone. Growth takes being uncomfortable – sitting with, growing from, and bossing up from it.

See you on Boundaries Plaza.

Janine