Get Uncomfortable Part 1

Boundaries Plaza

Sister, welcome to Boundaries Plaza! How are yoooou? It has been a long time coming. Writing this post has been difficult and so real. Real because my boundaries have been tested these last week fews… Anywho!

Let’s get into this! Boundaries Plaza is part of the Get Uncomfortable series. The purpose of this series is to become comfortable being uncomfortable and truly learn how to show up for YOUrself!

Growing up, we are groomed to be a certain way. Almost all children are taught to be nice. As a child, if someone hurts your feelings you may have been told, so and so did not mean that. In this situation or others, you may have heard “perspective is everything.” There is truth to that AND all of the above words of encouragement can also teach you to ignore your feelings and boundaries.

And still you must set and enforce your boundaries! Below are a few steps to help you do so:

  • You may feel guilty or anxiety for establishing your boundaries and expecting individuals to respect them. Still speak truth to them. The goal is to ensure you always feel safe and if you don’t, you must remove yourself for that situation. We are not staying anywhere we are not celebrating! PEEEERIOD!
  • What is it that you need in order to feel safe, heard, and free? This is why we set boundaries. Your boundaries may change depending on the relationship and the person you are interacting with.
  • Boundaries can be physical, emotional, sexual, based on values, and whatever else.
  • When speaking to them, you may want to use I statements. You are more likely to be heard and the person listening is less likely to be defensive. This is dependent on your goal. I go back and forth about I states. Check out this teeny tiny paragraph about the power of I statements.
  • When discussing your feelings/boundaries keep it brief. Check this post out for more information. Again, it is teeny tiny. People do not have the capacity to hear much. IJS! And the goal is to be heard so share three points or less regarding your feelings and needs.
  • THEIR REACTION IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS OR RESPONSIBILITY! Do not own it! Let them sit with their feelings. Say your peace and move on!

Have you had any experiences with setting and enforcing your boundaries? If so, how was your experience? Do you have anything to add to the list?

Be FREE!

Janine

Get Uncomfortable!!!

For That Glow Up!

Hey Sis! Welcome! I am so excited for the Get Uncomfortable series. This is going to be a goodie! So grab your pen and paper!

The Get Uncomfortable series will give you tools to level up, discover new things about yourself, and encourage you to remain true to you!

In this series, we will discuss:

Our uncomfortableness brings some of the best rewards! You got this, Sis!
  • Boundaries: Let’s talk about the importance of setting, speaking to, and enforcing our boundaries.
  • Saying no: No is healthy! No is important! No needs no explanation! NO is a complete sentence! Period, Poo (I know you rolled your head when you read that. I sure did)!
  • Trying New Things: This allows you to expand your horizons, grow, and discover new passions. I will never forget the time I traveled to Atlanta alone to attend Myleik’s live podcast show. I was stretched in all areas of my life, a little concerned, and overall, I had a phenomenal time!
  • Dating yourself: Have a picnic alone. Get clear on who you are, what you enjoy, and your dislikes.
  • Taking up space: As women we shrink entirely too often. It is time for us to not only show up, but to take up all the space we need.
  • Goodbyes: Some people, things, thoughts, and beliefs need to exit stage left. It is time for some new hellos.

The goal of the series is to become comfortable being uncomfortable. No one grows in their comfort zone. Growth takes being uncomfortable – sitting with, growing from, and bossing up from it.

See you on Boundaries Plaza.

Janine